I will not let judgment bring me down.
Judgment. What a wasteful way of spending our valuable time.
It comes in many forms and from just about anywhere. We get judged for our appearance, our religion, our spending habits, our choices; we’re judged from strangers, co-workers, friends and family.
Of everything I’ve been through, judgment has been a persistent enemy.
As a supervisor, I had to grow a ‘thick skin’ to professionally handle and cope with the difficulties of the job. Unfortunately, my ‘thick skin’ isn’t very ‘thick’. It merely provides a mask hiding my true feelings and emotions about the situations around me. It provides a wall protecting me from being vulnerable to negativity. Like a mask, this is not extremely effective.
Judgments, like bullets, create holes in the wall and cause it to collapse. All at once, I’m defenseless and start to feel/experience the emotions I tried so hard to ward off.
One of the worst things I can remember being judged for was my parenting. If you’re a parent, you know how horrible a stab like that can feel.
One comment I’ll never forget happened after a co-worker learned I was going on a vacation (without my toddler). This co-worker said, “Whatever she can do to drink and get rid of her kid”. OUCH.
I knew that her comment was fueled by jealousy and hate rather than truth, however, it left me unnecessarily pondering the type of mother I was. You would think I’d learn to ignore un-supportive and hurtful comments, but it is hard to get over how malicious people can be.
Ultimately, I found peace knowing my marital relationships is a vital puzzle piece to my family and deserves our attention as well (hence the childless vacation). Still, being judged left a bruise.
Most people weren’t aware of the year of testing and fertility treatments we went through to conceive. A year that involved constant poking and prodding, hundreds of self-given shots, surgeries, miscarriages and the never ending roller coaster of emotions. We spent thousands of dollars as we chased our dreams of becoming a family.
Most people weren’t aware because I kept everything in, I patched up the wall, and put on my mask. The treatments and stress manifested by my having a short fuse, being absent from work, and having erratic emotions. Because of those I often felt judged by my co-workers.
Eventually, my husband and I were successful in this journey and have found sharing to be healing. But, it was a lonely journey.
The point is, you never know what personal struggles someone might be going through.
Let’s lead by example and vow to stop wasting our precious lives on moments of judgment.
And when we are judged, remember that judgment is not a truth – it’s just someone’s opinion or point of view.
“Do what you feel in your heart to be right– for you’ll be criticized anyway.” –Eleanor Roosevelt
Say it with me, “I will not let judgment bring me down”.
Rebecca is a wife and mom of one. She is an accountant by day and writer by night. As an inspirational blogger, her passion is to provide a thought-provoking, positive environment that helps people to believe in themselves and strive for what makes them happy. Need nourishment for your soul? Find it at The Soul Jar. Her cure for everything… vitamin sea! Need daily inspirations? Follow her on twitter. You can also connect on Facebook and Pinterest. “Happiness resides not in possessions and not in gold, happiness dwells in the soul.” - Democritus